DEAR HOGWARTS,

I woke up this morning with the most terrible of dilemmas: what to do with my morning, after a week of becoming accustomed to attending classes. I could see the looks of hopeless confusion in my dorm mate's eyes, and although I was pained to do so, I then imagined the reactions of the girls across the tower! Nothing to occupy them, the blitheness rudely pulled from their delicate features by the villianous forces of boredom!

I decided that I would not have it! Idleness leads to unhappiness, and a real man never allows a woman to be unhappy! I must do all in my power to vanquish our school's collective lethargy. But I am but one man, and as talented as I may be, I simply do not have the time or power to tend to each poor girl myself. And so, I propose...

A HOST CLUB!

A collection of strapping and entertaining young men such as myself, on a mission to keep these fair, lovely maidens happy. Their satisfaction is our highest priority, and we will not stop until we can coax a smile from each one of their shining faces!

Who agrees?