Tamaki Suou

At last, it has happened! My shining personality has begun to physically manifest itself through its own willpower! I am glittering, no, shimmering, brighter and more beautifully with every new step!

Just as I had expected, my status soars closer to godlike each day! By tomorrow, even the sun will seem dim in comparison to the luster of my skin.

I...only hope that the sparkles wouldn't get all over the dorm, as well. Atsushi won't like them...

DEAR HOGWARTS,

I woke up this morning with the most terrible of dilemmas: what to do with my morning, after a week of becoming accustomed to attending classes. I could see the looks of hopeless confusion in my dorm mate's eyes, and although I was pained to do so, I then imagined the reactions of the girls across the tower! Nothing to occupy them, the blitheness rudely pulled from their delicate features by the villianous forces of boredom!

I decided that I would not have it! Idleness leads to unhappiness, and a real man never allows a woman to be unhappy! I must do all in my power to vanquish our school's collective lethargy. But I am but one man, and as talented as I may be, I simply do not have the time or power to tend to each poor girl myself. And so, I propose...

A HOST CLUB!

A collection of strapping and entertaining young men such as myself, on a mission to keep these fair, lovely maidens happy. Their satisfaction is our highest priority, and we will not stop until we can coax a smile from each one of their shining faces!

Who agrees?

Haruhi is all alone, far across the ocean, with the Hitachiin twins.

This is unacceptable. If she doesn't drown or get eaten by a bear, she'll be robbed of her girlish innocence! Something must be done!

Operation: Safeguard Innocent Daughter's Purity has begun! Who wants to join my task force?